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Tuesday, June 30, 2009

B.S. in Kenny Rogers Studies

A B.S. in Kenny Rogers prepares the student for a wide variety of life situations. In addition to the normal fine arts, humanities and physical education requirements, students must take the following core courses:

KRS 101: Knowing when to hold 'em
KRS 121: Knowing when to fold 'em
KRS 141: Knowing when to walk away
KRS: 161: When to run

KRS 201: Survivin'
KRS 221: What to throw away
KRS 241: What to keep
KRS: 261: Making every hand a winner

Students will have plenty of time to visit the bursar after their dealing is done.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Amaaaaaazing Etymologies....

Friends, it's now time for the next installment of our ongoing series: Amaaaazing Etymologies where we explore the weird and wacky origins of our crazy language.

Today's word is SINISTER, which has it's root in sinistre, which means "left." Even today the word for "left" is sinistra in Italian. While the word itself comes from Latin, the concept is Greek. When Greek augurers looked for signs, those that were to their left were considered inauspicious, or sinister. One of the more common signs used to divine the future was birds. So the next time, you see a bird to your left, it may portend something sinister....

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Star Trek....

Star Trek is the movie of 2009.  It is a great character-driven adventure story, with drama, humor, great special effects, and some sex appeal to boot.  If you are a trekkie, so much the better. But if you are a casual sci-fi fan or haven't experienced Star Trek before-- Hell, if you have a pulse-- you will be blown away.

FACT:  Star Trek had me crying within the first ten minutes.
FACT:  Star Trek made me laugh more than the Simpsons Movie.
FACT:  Star Trek made me jump out of my seat and yell expletives (in a good way) at least thrice.
FACT:  Uhura is a stone-cold fox.
FACT:  If you are a trekkie there are a few "winks" that will either have you whispering "cool" or lol'ing.

OPINION:  Kirk, Spock, Uhura, McCoy, Scotty, Sulu, Chekov, and Pike were all perfectly cast.  These are all beloved characters (except poor Capt. Pike) and their new embodiments were pitch perfect. The new cast brought the soul of the original cast but added new twists and flavors. 
OPINION: Uhura, Chekov, and Sulu were all criminally under-utilized in the original series and most of the movies, but are much more featured to the movie's benefit.
OPINION:  Even if you have never heard of any of these characters before, you will not be overwhelmed by the large cast.  Think of the first X-MEN, with a cast of like 25 major characters where they all were introduced and developed without seeming thin or crowded (except for perhaps the paltry screen-time given to Storm...)
OPINION:  Star Trek will rock your socks.

But it was not perfect:

DOWNER:  I was under-whelmed by Eric Bana as Nero the villain.
DOWNER:  Star Trek maybe played a bit too space-opera and not enough sci-fi
DOWNER:  This movie leaves a Vulcan shaped hole in my heart-- the planet not the species

What are you doing, go see it


Thursday, May 7, 2009


I'm leaving to see STAR TREK in five minutes.  It's going to be awesome!
(PS: I do believe this movie will break STAR TREK SYNDROME odd movie curse)

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Amaaaaaazing etymologies....

And now we continue our multi-part series, AMAZING ETYMOLOGIES, where we explore the amazing origins of the words that make up our wacky language.   Cappuccino, the delicious beverage made of coffee and frothed milk comes from the word "capuchin" which means hood.  It is the name of an order of monks who wear brown hoods that are said to resemble the "hood" of brown foam over coffee.  Bonus fact: the etymology is the same as the capuchin monkeys, who also appear to have on hoods.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Things that weigh heavily on my mind...

Friends, welcome to a new feature on my blog "Things that Weigh Heavily on my Mind," where I will explore some things that weigh heavily on my mind.

Today I discuss a great fear of mine.  I fear that someday I will be driving along going through the radio stations looking for something good, and just as I turn to the smooth jazz station BAM!  I get sideswiped and die.  It's not really the fear of death that weighs heavily on my mind, but the fear that smooth jazz will play on my car radio as my corpse lies in the car, and as the paramedic tries to find my pulse, he exclaims, "dammit, another Kenny G fan gone before his time."

Friday, May 1, 2009

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Last Year's Zeitgeist.... Hillary and Barack

So a class discussion about Reconstruction was hijacked by a severe case of LAST YEAR'S ZEITGEIST when we somehow got sidetracked into a really in-depth conversation about the relative merits of Hillary Clinton versus Barack Obama, with some really fervent partisans on both sides.  I was didn't have the heart to clamp down on it because some of the kids felt so strongly and were  surprisingly civil with one another!  Go figure.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

An Amendment to the Laws of the Internet...

I propose that Godwin's Law, while normally in effect for all internet discourse, is not in effect for any discussion of watercolor painting.

Monday, April 27, 2009

The Post

Interesting article in the Post today.  Two things caught my attention.  One, is that the Post is unsure of why there are so many first and second year teachers in the meat-grinders that are the poorest schools, and that the Post can't really analyze data from DC because it's so messed up.  Great. 

I can only say that the one-size-fits all obsession with the DC-CAS scores will continue to drain experienced teachers away from poorer schools, because they just aren't willing to risk their careers by trying to serve those most in need instead of waiting for retirement at what the article describes as a "cream puff" school

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Last Year's Zeitgeist: Indiana Jones and the Search for Spock

Friends, welcome to this installment of my ongoing series: Last Year's Zeitgeist. In this installment, I will both condemn Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and made a bold call for another Indy flick to be made. More? Oliver Twist wants more, you say?!? Please, sir, may I have another I say.

While our sample size is a still small, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that the Indiana Jones franchise suffers from Reverse Star Trek Syndrome (RSTS). For those of you out of the loop, Star Trek Syndrome was named, of course, for the Star Trek movie franchise. The disease causes odd numbered movies to range from "suck" to "meh" while even numbered movies range from "yeah" to "fuck yeah." Indiana Jones just suffers from a variant of this debilitating disease. So instead of painting Kingdom of the Crystal Skull with the same brush as The Phantom Menace, realize that it's not George Lucas or Stephen Speilberg's fault; they just can't help it.

To wit:

Raiders of the Lost Ark = Fuck yeah
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom = Meh
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade = Fuck Yeah
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull = Suck
Indiana Jones and the TBD = Fuck yeah???

Ladies and gentlemen, we're due for some "fuck yeah." so let's not hang up the fedora and whip just yet.

Friday, April 24, 2009

And now, what really happened:

Friends, I am beginning what I hope will be a long series of posts, where I re-examine a famous moment in history to find what really happened.

On the final day of the Constitutional Convention, Benjamin Franklin looked at the seat of the President of the Convention, George Washington.  Upon the back of the seat was engraved a sun on the horizon.  Franklin remarked, "During the course of these proceedings I have often gazed upon that chair and wondered whether it was a rising or a setting sun.  I am now confident, upon the conclusion of our labors that it is, indeed, a rising sun."

Traditional Interpretation:  Franklin was concerned whether the young nation would long remain whole under the weak and decentralized Articles of Confederation, but was confident that the nation, represented by the sun, would rise in prominence and flourish reorganized and reinvigorated by the new Constitution.

What really happened: Ol' Ben Frank was usually so hammered that he didn't know whether it was day or night, much less what day it was.  For posterity's sake Alexander Hamilton and Charles Cotesworth Pinkney forcibly sobered Franklin up for the signing of the final draft, and he felt the need to point out that he resented being up before noon on a Friday.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Why the Teabaggers are wrong....

While I count myself among those who believe that our government spends too much and often frivolously, I need to come out in opposition to the Teabaggers that have been dominating so many news cycles with their dross.  The Teabaggers are citizens of the freest and greatest nation on Earth.  Instead of patriotically embracing that nation and the ideals of that nation, they choose to frame their protest in the trappings of Revolution, with only the thinnest veil in their threats of violence.  

The patriots who were responsible for the Boston Tea Party did not enjoy the freedom that todays Teabaggers disdain.  The patriots of the Boston Tea Party did not have elected representation nor an effective recourse to petition their government.  Now, if the people of the District of Columbia-- the last bastion of tyranny in North America-- were to rise up against their oppressors from Texas and California and Utah and Vermont and the other 46 represented states and commonwealths then I would support the powdered wigs and the garb of the minuteman.  But to compare the Fox News watching troglodytes of the modern Teabagging to Sam Adams and Paul Revere is a farce.

Not in any form have I seen a call to an electoral recourse for the concerns of the Teabaggers. Not one voice calling for candidates to begin campaigns for office.  Nor is there even the traditional Republican campaign to impeach our new Democratic President.  In a nation of laws, the Teabaggers call for extra-legal solutions.

Yes, I want spending cut.  Yes, I was displeased when I finally  hit "send" on my tax return and saw how much of my money was siphoned away from me.  Yes, I hate that work is taxed more than mountains of accumulated wealth.  But there is not tyranny in the land (excepting 61.4 square miles).  It is insulting to the Patriots who risked their lives and property for the call of freedom for the Teabaggers to wrap themselves in their memory over what amounts to a squabble over the effective rate of taxation.  

So I say vote and protest and editorialize and march, but stop the drama queen demagoguery; it's downright un-American.

Taxation without Representation is Tyranny!  Taxation with Representation is Life.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

The Devil in the blue pants or How I learned to stop worrying and love the budonkydonk

I have to admit that I am a regular reader of George Will, because of all the conservative op-eds that saturate our dead-tree media his is the only one to have an occasionally witty turn-of-phrase or even make a little sense here and there. But in his most recent sartorial editorial, he decries the number one threat to America: BLUE JEANS???

I read so you don't have to: Blue Jeans are a threat to America because you can't make class differentiation. Blue jeans should only be worn by gold prospectors and cattle ranchers, George Will once wore a pair of jeans to a birthday party because he had to.

All this is from a man obsessed with watching men wearing pajamas.

Oh and insert your own cheap shot about the bow-tie because I just can't bring myself to do it.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Real Men.

Hey FOXNEWS, give it up! Everyone knows that real men drink loose tea! Tea bags are for grandmas and wimps! Loose tea's got balls.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Religion and Pirates.

It appears one of the major tenets of Pastafarianism is false. For those of you outside of the loop, Pastafarianism is a religion that believes that life was created by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and that there is an inverse relation between global temperature and the number of pirates in the world.

Lately, we have seen both an increase in mean global temperature and the prevelence of pirates. Can this be a sign of the end times? Or could the Flying Spaghetti Monster be testing our faith in his noodly appendage?

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Dyngus Day!

For those of you outside of the loop, Dyngus Day is a Polish holiday-- the day after Easter. Traditionally, boys throw water at girls they like and the girls reciprocate by hitting the boys with pussy willows. I hear that libations, dancing and music may be involved as well...

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Prison Reform

There's been a lot of talk lately about prison reform and I couldn't be happier about some of the buzz. Senator Jim Webb has been pushing hard for a re-evaluation of our policies with several speeches and op-eds. The Washington Post also printed this article about possible closures and what they would mean to small Upstate towns that house prisons.

Being from Upstate I have often heard the tired cry that weakening sentencing laws and therefor having fewer prisoners would be bad for the Upstate economy. Rarely is it discussed whether weakening sentencing laws (particularly the onerous Rockefeller Drug Laws) is actually sound public policy.

Here is my proposal. Along with legalizing marijuana and eliminating mandatory minimum sentences in New York, the legislature should also pass a bill which gives civil service points to prison employees applying for similar work in public schools or the State University of New York system. Economic incentives can be offered to private schools that hire former guards as campus police officers.

Not only does my proposal offer sensible solutions to an intensely costly system (in lives and treasure) but also offers a real symbol that education rather than incarceration is the priority of the Empire State.


Sunday, March 29, 2009

The Sasiadizzles are moving to Buffalo!

Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to announce that this blog, and its author, and its author's wife, and the author and his wife's cats, and many of their belongings will be relocating to lovely Buffalo, New York. In case you haven't heard of Buffalo, let me tell you a little bit about it. It is Heaven on Earth. You should move there too, but only if you're good enough.

Here are some good things about Buffalo:

Unlike many places, Buffalo has four distinct seasons which each offer differing opportunities regarding recreation. There is real snow in winter, which makes everything bright and cheery, unlike the dull gray of winters elsewhere. There are flowers and buds and rains that run warm and cool in the spring. Summers are tempered by the cool water of lake Erie, so that they never scorch too completely. And fall is a panoply of color. Buffalo fact- the air tastes differently during each season, but you really only notice it when the seasons change and it sends a tingle up and down your spine.

More to come....

PS: The blog really won't be relocating, as a blog really doesn't have a physical presence, but it will be re-focused.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Sasiadizzle in the real world

This blog is claiming to co-host an event at Busboys and Poets Thursday March, 26th from 5:00-7:00.  There will be a reception for up-and-coming visual artist Tara Sasiadek.  It should be a great time.

Where: Busboys and Poets (14th and V street NW, DC)
When: Thursday 3/26/09 5:00-7;00
How: Stylishly

Monday, March 23, 2009

Why we should let GM die...

I've already blogged that we should let General Motors and Chrysler either figure things out on their own or die.  My argument was that hundreds of innovators would swoop in to pick up the pieces and put them to far better use than their current owners.

While this was a venture capital start-up using lots of internet "new money."  Imagine what people of lesser means could do if they could start their companies off the carcasses of GM and Chrysler on the cheap:
Tesla Motors is already producing electric cars.  Apparently really good electric cars.  And they are using market segmentation to their benefit, instead of trying to appeal to the least common denominator and pleasing no one like the  VOLT is almost guaranteed to do.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

American Gods

American Gods by Neil Gaiman should be made into a movie.  Here is the cast list as per my wife and I:

Mr. Wednesday: Brian Cox or Timothy Dalton 
"Low Key" Lyesmith: Vigo Mortensenor  John Travolta
Jaquel and Ibis: and  Alan Rickman
Laura:  Parker Posey
Mad Sweeney:  Michael Hogan
Media:  Tricia Helfer
Sam/Hitchhiker:  Camilla Belle

More to come....

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Chuck Grassley has some good ideas....

Professional old man, Chuck Grassley (R-IA) made two incredible statements today.

In the first, he accused AIG executives of "so suckin' the tit of the taxpayer."  So if you felt something amiss under your shirt today, it was just American Insurance Group.

In his second quote, he said:

“The first thing that would make me feel a little bit better towards them if they’d follow the Japanese model and come before the American people and take that deep bow and say I’m sorry, and then either do one of two things — resign, or go commit suicide.”

Brilliant idea!  Now if only those bozos who voted in favor of the Iraq War would man up.  If Chuck "tit sucker" Grassley finds himself in need of a sword, I've got one that I would be glad to let him borrow.


PS:  We're still waiting for John McCain to make good on his 2006 promise of suicide too.  Where's the straight talk, Mac?

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Something right in the world today:

Cornell University was awarded a well-earned 14th seed in the NCAA tourney.


Saturday, March 14, 2009

Stewart slams Cramer?!?!?!?

Please people.  I'm sick and tired of seeing bloggers with headlines like "Stewart slams Cramer!" or "Watch John Stewart totally own Jim Cramer!!!!!!!1."  Leave that sort of irresponsible hyperbolic mis-reporting to the "traditional" media outlets.  John Stewart didn't "slam" Jim Cramer"  or "totally pwn" him.  Stewart did what he always does; he offered a well-reasoned and highly articulate critique of Jim Cramer, CNBC, and the leaders of American capitalism.  The goal was not to tear apart Cramer, although he really deserved it.  Steward did not wear gloves and used a vast array of incriminating tapes, as well as a few F-bombs.  But he did not slam Cramer.  

Let's all take a pause and be thankful that at least we have one comedy show doing the work that CNN, MSNBC, Fox News, ABC, CBS, NBC and PBS should be doing themselves.  

So go change those headlines to something better representing the truth.  "Stewart offers well-reasoned and highly-informed critique of media and financial markets." Thank you.

Friday, March 13, 2009



I'm sick and tired of hearing about casini as a form of economic development.  Except for Vegas (a city which has no rights to exist) I can't think of another place in America that has seen any real development from casino gambling.  And don't say Atlantic City, 'cause Atlantic City is a shithole.  Places that have casini: Hogansburg, NY; Rancho Mirage, CA;  Detroit, MI; Verona, NY; Lincoln City, OR.  Soon the Mississippi will cease to be a navigable  artery of commerce it will be so congested with riverboat casini.  Detroit called one of it's houses of gambling Greektown as a reference to gamblers taking it in the a$$.  Stay classy, Detroit ;)

This is an industry that produces no product, and no real service.  It is a funnel from the poor to the rich.  Yet place after place in America thinks that a casino is the way to CREAT JOBS and balance the ledgers of local and state governments.  Sure there might be short term benefits to building a casino.  Construction jobs occur of front (jobs that actually produce something of value from labor).  Some jobs at the casino are created.  In the long run, though, building acasino will crowd out  investment in real production of goods and services.  Money spent at casini essentially evaporates. Very little is left in the host community in the form of wages  or consumption.  

Building a casino is a short term solution that hampers long-term economic growth.  It is a classically short-sighted, simplistic solution to long-term complex economic issues.  So it's obvious why they are so politically popular.

It's kinda like leveraging your assets  30-1 in the hopes that the market will continue to grow at an even and rapid pace.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

A Tale of Two Administrations

When faced with economic crisis in 2001, the Bush administration encouraged Americans to go shopping.  When this proved ineffective at rectifying what ailed the economy, the Bush administration pushed through tax rebates using borrowed Chinese money to encourage Americans to buy Chinese-made energy-guzzling flat screens and cheap plastic shit.  It was typical "if it feels good, do it" Republican philosophy.  There was a short uptick in the economy followed by crash.

Now, we have to deal with the results of that crash, and the Obama administration proposed among other things, this:

They put forward a wide-ranging plan for regional networks of high-speed rail linked together by traditional rail networks.  The East Coast megalopolis extended past DC all the way to Savannah (with a link to Montreal!).  All the major burghs of the midwest linked by a hub at Chi-town.  And, my personal favorite, the Empire State Express linking NYC to Buffalo along the storied route of the Erie Canal.  This is an investment in meaningful 21st century regional infrastructure (Richard Florida probably shat his pants when he saw this)--a way of reducing our dependence on expensive and dangerous foreign fossil fuels.

Two concerns.  High-speed rail is too slow.  We really should be building at least one of these lines as a bullet train or mag-lev.   Not only will this create extremely fast routes but it will be an important investment American companies involved in these fields-- fields where we currently trail the Germans, Japanese and even Chinese.  Secondly, the New York-Buffalo route should extend all the way to Toronto-- ask Richard Florida.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

NO to T.O.

Count me among the many people who think signing Terrell Owens can only backfire on the Bills. Owens doesn't have the skills. He's an ass, and he's going to blow our salary cap. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Deep Thoughts....

Do Kentuckians think that the grass is always bluer on the other side?

Saturday, February 28, 2009

The True Rainbow Coalition...

Much noise has been made about the fact that the Republican Party has recently elected Michael Steele, an alleged African-American as its leader. This is pretty big deal for a party
that attracts very few non-white voters and hasn't had an African-American in Congress for some years now.

The Democrats, on the other hand, draw their support from a wide spectrum of Americans. A term that Jesse Jackson popularized was "Rainbow Coalition" describing an appeal to Americans: white, black, brown, yellow or red.  There is one hue though, that the Republicans are taking a lead in, ORANGE

While I cannot think of a single Orange-American in the Democratic caucus, the Republicans have elected one, John Boehner, as their House Leader.  Governor of Florida and potential Presidential candidate Charlie Crist is also an Orange-American

I implore the Democratic leadership not to dismiss this as empty symbolism and to reach out to Orange-Americans in all future elections.

The Future of the GOP?

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Retrocession is so in right now....

"Drill, baby, drill!"
This man hates freedom, but loves glamour shots

Professional dick-weed, Representative Louie Gohmert has proposed two bills in Congress. The first would exempt District residents from paying federal income tax on income earned in the District as long as the district is without a vote in Congress. Nice and condescending and designed to trip up the DC voting rights movement. This bill should still be passed as long as it is retroactive. I'm sure the check is in the mail, Louie.

The second dick bill Gohmert has proposed would retrocede the District to Maryland. This bill ignores the wishes of the people of the District and the wishes of the people of Maryland to honor hundreds of years of separate history.

In response to Gohmert's bills, I have one of my own. I propose a bill to retrocede Texas to France. Louie already sounds French, anyway. If the Texans find my modest proposal too gaulling, we could also retrocede them to Mexico, Spain or the Confederate States of America.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Black Biography Month?

Why is it that almost all of the emphasis of Black History Month is placed on individuals?  Real black history is social events, social movements, the lives of people common and great.  History is an aggregation of experiences, not the stories of the exceptional.  

Sunday, February 15, 2009

More Geographic Schadenfreude...

I've already been smugly gloating over the utter collapse of the economy of Florida.  I need to add to my list another pair of places I really really hate: Charlotte and Las Vegas.  

Charlotte's boom economy was based on the growth of the very banks that were feeding the frenzy in Florida.  They grew too big too fast and on a foundation literally made of sand.  Their tasteless and senseless sprawl mimicked that of their idiot brethren to the South.  

Las Vegas is a huge fucking city in a goddamn desert.  You'd have to be a fucking moron to build a city in a goddamn desert.  Not only is it a huge city in a goddamn desert,  it is a city whose major economic activity is completely unproductive, but uses a disproportionately large amount of water.  I once had a layover in the Las Vegas airport and I was physically ill by the time I left.  The sound and sight of the slots was alternately numbing and jarring.  I was saddened at the sight of slot zombies shuffling about.

Now I'm just waiting for the fall of Phoenix to fill out my list of stupidest goddamn places in America to live that did really well in the last twenty years but will inevitably collapse because of their own ignorant shortsightedness (TM).

Thursday, February 12, 2009


I have long thought of Florida as one giant Ponzi scheme.  It is a state with no real economy beyond real estate, and as such has no income tax.  The government largely relies on taxes on real estate transactions and tourism.  Florida has more in common economically with Saudi Arabia than the rest of America.  It is a place that does not rely on the work and ingenuity of it's people.  Saudi Arabia depends on oil; Florida depends on speculation and rent seeking.  The New Yorker just had a great article detailing what a hell-hole Florida is.  (note to self, hyperlink article) 

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


If it's not on the test, it doesn't matter.  

If you ever present any information that does not look exactly like an NCLB assessment, then you are the anti-Christ.  

A message from the District of Columbia Public Schools.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Amazing Etymologies!

Along with "Last Year's Zeitgeist", I'm piloting another new feature for this blog: Amaaaaaaazing Etymologies, where we examine the amazing origins of the words that make up our amazing mutt language.

Today's Amaaaaaazing Etymology is "dollar."  When the founders of our nation were looking for something to call their money, they chose not to go with the very British, "pound."  But whence came the word "dollar?"  Well, believe it or not, it comes from the name of an Austro-Czech town by the name of Joachimsthaler.  Joachimstha
ler, had very rich silver mines in the seventeenth century, a time when the rest of Europe was busy debasing its coinage.  The people of Joachimsthaler kept it real, as in real silver, so a coin from Joachimsthaler became known as a standard on which other coins were measured.  And because Joachimsthaler is really really hard to say or write, this was eventually shortened to "thaler" in everyday speech.  From the German-Czech spelling of "thaler" it was just a short jump to the modern English, "dollar."

And that's today's Amaaaaaaazing Etymology.

Way better than having the queen's face on all your sickles, knuts and galleons....

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Last Year's Zeitgeist.... First Edition

I'm a slow thinker.  Ideas stew for a long long time before I find my inspiration; for that reason, I'm starting a column called "Last Year's Zeitgeist."  In The Dark Knight, the Joker's true destruction lies not in the murder committed by his own hands or those of his henchmen, but in the destructive choices he forces others to make.  He takes idle parlor games (maybe I should change the name to "Last Century's Zeitgeist...) and tests them on live subjects.  The most devious of these is placing bombs on two separate ferries and the detonator for each ship on the opposite ship.  The Joker then tells each of the ships' complement that it can save itself with the destruction of the other.  He lets the people decide who will live and who will die.

The obvious parallel to the Joker is Osama bin Laden.  You may remember him as the number one enemy of America for a few months in late 2001- early 2002.  Obama's real power lay not in his ability to knock down buildings or sink ships, but in the ability to force American's to make difficult decisions.  We'd all like to think we would be willing to run into a burning building to save an infant.  Normally, we are never faced with that choice, but philoso-villians, like the Joker and bin Laden force us into those choices.  At first, Americans performed admirably, thousands of ordinary people rose to face the challenges of 9/11.  They faced the concrete choices of bravery steadfastly.  Some lived and some perished in the choosing.  

But I said the true villainy wasn't in the knocking down of buildings or the hijacking of planes.  It was in the choices we faced afterwards.  It was when George Bush, Dick Cheney, a majority of the House and 99 Senators made the dubious and cowardly choice in sacrificing liberty for the illusion of safety.  Luckily for Gotham (spoiler alert) they have a con in a jumpsuit and a man in a business suit with more backbone than our leaders.  They escaped the Joker's plot without blood on their hands.  

(And if this were still early 2008, I might put in a plug to have the businessman and the con run as a ticket for President and Vice President.  I might even waste some time photoshopping a faux poster.  But it's not early 2008; this was last year's zeitgeist.)

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


Good riddance to Tom Daschle.  

Daschle was never very good with ethics when as a Senator his wife was a very well compensated lobbyist for the airline industry (THANKS MRS. DASCHLE!).  Then as an ex-senator he advised the medical-industrial complex on how to work the system to their advantage.  Anyone who thinks a chauffeured limo is a "friendly gift" is too far gone to save.  

We are all better off without him.  Good riddance.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

World Record Flash Mob!

I forgot to claim credit for it earlier, but a few weeks ago I sent an e-mail out to a few friends, you can read the contents below:

Dear Friends, 

I propose we bring back the flash mob in style!  This January 20th, let's all meet at the National Mall and begin cheering at 12:00.  It'll be totally awesome!  Please forward this to all your friends!


PS: If you don't forward this to 25 people in 25 minutes, you will never be kissed ever again.

Personally, I was expecting about twenty or some people to show up and a couple of confused tourists, but this thing really caught on!  I read that the Washington Post estimated about TWO MILLION people showed up-- I even heard the Barack Obama might have come too!  Sweet!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Department of Redundancy Department

I have blogged before lamenting the fact that DCPS requires its report cards to be filled out on carbon paper.  I should have kept my mouth shut, because now my school is a pilot for the new online report card program.  Great! Right?  No, we  now need to fill out our report cards online AND on carbon paper!  Hooray for wasting my time DCPS, I wasn't planning on using it for anything anyway.

Sunday, January 25, 2009


To borrow from my fellow Cornellian, Bill Maher, NEW RULE:

Now that he is really the president, no more chanting, "Obama! Obama! Obama!"  It was fun when he was just a skinny freshman senator with a funny name and no chance of winning, but now, he has the power, and love him, hate him, or somewhere in-between it's your job as an American to cast a skeptical eye at power and those who hold it.  If you really feel the need to chant someone's name, I can provide a lengthy list of rock-stars, professional wrestlers or monster-truck drivers for you to adulate.  

To sum:  "Obama! Obama! Obama!" = Creeping Fascism