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Tuesday, September 30, 2008

I can't get behind that...

Add to the list of things I can't get behind:

Pro sports teams named after anything but a city*. Where the hell do these teams even play?

Arizona Cardinals? Florida Marlins? Carolina Panthers? New England Patriots? Florida Panthers? Carolina Hurricanes? Tennessee Titans? Texas Rangers?*

I can't tell you where a single one of these teams play, and you know why? Because they are bullshit. Any team that doesn't have a city it can name its self after is chicken-shit. And you'll notice that most of these teams are in soulless sunbelt hell-hole states-- except the Pats whose soullessness is a whole lot less metaphorical.***

* A dispensation is rendered unto "Minnesota" teams. We get it; you're from Minneapolis-St. Paul. It's cool.

**Special ire is directed at the Houston Texans for the stupidest name in all of sports.

***Go Bills

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