Google Search

GOOGLE SEARCH RESULTS

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Dale Volker comes out of the closet

After years of blaming all of his failures on "New York City people," Dale Volker finally explicitly blames the late budget on Jews, African-Americans and Latinos. It is long past time that Dale Volker stop embarrassing his constituents and be forcefully retired.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

B.S. in Kenny Rogers Studies

A B.S. in Kenny Rogers prepares the student for a wide variety of life situations. In addition to the normal fine arts, humanities and physical education requirements, students must take the following core courses:

KRS 101: Knowing when to hold 'em
KRS 121: Knowing when to fold 'em
KRS 141: Knowing when to walk away
KRS: 161: When to run

KRS 201: Survivin'
KRS 221: What to throw away
KRS 241: What to keep
KRS: 261: Making every hand a winner

Students will have plenty of time to visit the bursar after their dealing is done.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Amaaaaaazing Etymologies....

Friends, it's now time for the next installment of our ongoing series: Amaaaazing Etymologies where we explore the weird and wacky origins of our crazy language.

Today's word is SINISTER, which has it's root in sinistre, which means "left." Even today the word for "left" is sinistra in Italian. While the word itself comes from Latin, the concept is Greek. When Greek augurers looked for signs, those that were to their left were considered inauspicious, or sinister. One of the more common signs used to divine the future was birds. So the next time, you see a bird to your left, it may portend something sinister....

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Star Trek....



Star Trek is the movie of 2009.  It is a great character-driven adventure story, with drama, humor, great special effects, and some sex appeal to boot.  If you are a trekkie, so much the better. But if you are a casual sci-fi fan or haven't experienced Star Trek before-- Hell, if you have a pulse-- you will be blown away.

FACT:  Star Trek had me crying within the first ten minutes.
FACT:  Star Trek made me laugh more than the Simpsons Movie.
FACT:  Star Trek made me jump out of my seat and yell expletives (in a good way) at least thrice.
FACT:  Uhura is a stone-cold fox.
FACT:  If you are a trekkie there are a few "winks" that will either have you whispering "cool" or lol'ing.
 

OPINION:  Kirk, Spock, Uhura, McCoy, Scotty, Sulu, Chekov, and Pike were all perfectly cast.  These are all beloved characters (except poor Capt. Pike) and their new embodiments were pitch perfect. The new cast brought the soul of the original cast but added new twists and flavors. 
OPINION: Uhura, Chekov, and Sulu were all criminally under-utilized in the original series and most of the movies, but are much more featured to the movie's benefit.
OPINION:  Even if you have never heard of any of these characters before, you will not be overwhelmed by the large cast.  Think of the first X-MEN, with a cast of like 25 major characters where they all were introduced and developed without seeming thin or crowded (except for perhaps the paltry screen-time given to Storm...)
OPINION:  Star Trek will rock your socks.

But it was not perfect:

DOWNER:  I was under-whelmed by Eric Bana as Nero the villain.
DOWNER:  Star Trek maybe played a bit too space-opera and not enough sci-fi
DOWNER:  This movie leaves a Vulcan shaped hole in my heart-- the planet not the species

What are you doing, go see it

Now.



Thursday, May 7, 2009

OMFG!!!! STAR TREK!


I'm leaving to see STAR TREK in five minutes.  It's going to be awesome!
(PS: I do believe this movie will break STAR TREK SYNDROME odd movie curse)


Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Amaaaaaazing etymologies....






And now we continue our multi-part series, AMAZING ETYMOLOGIES, where we explore the amazing origins of the words that make up our wacky language.   Cappuccino, the delicious beverage made of coffee and frothed milk comes from the word "capuchin" which means hood.  It is the name of an order of monks who wear brown hoods that are said to resemble the "hood" of brown foam over coffee.  Bonus fact: the etymology is the same as the capuchin monkeys, who also appear to have on hoods.



Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Things that weigh heavily on my mind...


Friends, welcome to a new feature on my blog "Things that Weigh Heavily on my Mind," where I will explore some things that weigh heavily on my mind.

Today I discuss a great fear of mine.  I fear that someday I will be driving along going through the radio stations looking for something good, and just as I turn to the smooth jazz station BAM!  I get sideswiped and die.  It's not really the fear of death that weighs heavily on my mind, but the fear that smooth jazz will play on my car radio as my corpse lies in the car, and as the paramedic tries to find my pulse, he exclaims, "dammit, another Kenny G fan gone before his time."